Ahh… the Martyrdom!

So this morning, it is Wednesday. For me and my kids that means late start at school – they don’t have to be in at 7:15 am which means I have the choice of not getting up at 5:30 am to get things rolling. Except for… my daughter wants to be at school early to spend time with her friends! At 7:30 am! So today she took the bus. No breakfast from me. No lunch. She’ll have hot lunch :-[ Ah, yes. Here kicks in the shame, guilt and disgust. If you know me a little, you’ll have an idea of how adamant I am about good nutrition. This did not sit right with me.

But I welcomed the extra hour of staying under my covers all cozy and warm. Winter time seems to be especially hard on me. It’s still dark outside and it’s cold. And I am just not as driven to spring out of bed, enjoy my quiet time and then eventually start my day. My mornings include making breakfast and lunch for my kids, so they have something wholesome to eat in the morning and at school. When I think of the days, weeks, months and years that this routine has been in place. And yes, some mornings I’ll think to myself: I wish I could sleep in.  Will they die if they have hot lunch once in a while? But then I get up and go about my usual routine of getting them ready for school. Sure, at this point they are old enough to make their own breakfast and lunch. But I love doing it for them. Or is it the part in me that wants to keep control of their life a little bit longer? Indeed, part of it is even my martyrdom kicking in. That little voice in the back of my head that reminds me of all that I do for others. BUT, here’s the kicker. I ENJOY every moment of it. I guess this is part of my Mediterranean upbringing. It is gratifying to me and it brings me satisfaction. Sure I’ll complain some times. I get overwhelmed. And the past few weeks have been very busy and tiring. So I welcomed the little bit of extra rest that was thrown my way this morning. And my daughter said: It’s all good mom – lol. Erase my guilt 😉

My point is, if the work that you do is fun, then it is ok. Perhaps it is soothing to your soul, it triggers your motherly care. It instills a routine in your life that keeps you feeling grounded. Then it’s allowed. It awakens life in you. It feeds you crazy bones and keeps you smiling. Do it for yourself and by default others will benefit from it. It is like volunteer work. While we feel good giving our time to a good cause the people receiving our care benefit immensely. We all need something to do that expresses who we are. Be original. Be you. Express yourself to the max. And have fun with it. As long as it kindles that little spark in your heart that keeps you alive and kicking. Then it is ok.
Everything else will fall in place.